Archive for the Folk Medicine Category

The Goddess Told Me to Put Garlic in My Vajayjay

Posted in Folk Medicine, Holistic Healing, How to, Humor with tags , , , , , , , , , on April 18, 2013 by Marie Bargas

After a week of suffering through one of the most debilitating cold/flu nightmares I’ve ever had in my life I was not surprised to feel a familiar itch in my nether regions.  For the past 3 days I’ve been taking a powerful antibiotic. Right about the time that my throat ceased to hurt, that familiar itch was a signal that the antibiotic had done it’s work all too well.

I’m spoiled. In the past I’ve had the luxury of having a health insurance carrier that paid for EVERYTHING.  All I had to do in the old days was call my doctor and tell her that I had a yeast infection and she’d call in a prescription because she was the same doctor who prescribed the antibiotic that caused it in the first place.  Sometimes she’d just give me a prescription for the yeast medication along with the antibiotic to save me the trouble of calling her twice. Today, I am self-employed. And, although I enjoy being my own boss, setting my own hours and taking naps with my pups in the afternoon;  I sure do miss having complete coverage.

Primer

Primer (Photo credit: The Makeup FLoozy)

Yesterday, I was feeling well enough to write… a little… but not well enough to make it to the drugstore.  I knew what that itch meant though. But, rather than force myself out of the house I opted to stay in my pink flannel polka dot pajamas and have a nap. Why?  In the worst case scenario I can always rely the Goddess to send me a solution in a dream. I had a deep, but troubled sleep until the Goddess tickled my memories and I recalled that garlic has been touted far and wide as a natural remedy for yeast.

An Ikea garlic press, with pressed garlic.

An Ikea garlic press, with pressed garlic. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When I woke up I started researching the cure immediately and discovered that the prescribed remedy required me to insert a peeled and scored fresh glove of garlic in my vajayjay overnight at the first sign of an infection. Honestly, I’ve put much stranger things in my vajayjay before including the celebrated Jack Rabbit Vibrator. 07139322.interactive.a

And even though I was never  put off by the Jack Rabbit’s spinning beads,  gyrating shaft, or vibrating clit bunny, yesterday morning I just felt weak and vulnerable. I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually felt squeamish about inserting a potent, pungent clove of garlic in to my vajayjay.

After a few more hours the itching got worse so I decided to “woman up” and try inserting the garlic clove.  I peeled it and scored it as instructed and inserted it just like I would a tampon.  I put a panty shield in my panty and lay down to read a book.  I didn’t hurt at all. In fact I could barely feel that it was there.  In about an hour I tasted a garlic in my mouth and was satisfied that the garlic was circulating through my blood stream. I was thrilled. It was working. And then I coughed.  The garlic clove traveled through my vajayjay faster than a speeding bullet and made a enough of a “thwack” sound when it hit my panty shield to scare my Maltese, Muppet who was dozing next to me.

Undaunted, I returned to the internet and found that some women sewed a thread through the garlic clove before inserting it into the vajayjay so they could easily retrieve it. That made a lot of sense to me. The first try I hadn’t inserted it as far as it could go because frankly I was afraid that I’d never get it out.  So, I found my sewing kit, threaded a needle and went to the kitchen to prepare another clove of garlic. While I was in the kitchen sewing my garlic, my fiance Paul came home and asked me what I was doing. When I told him I was making a “garlic tampon” his eyes glazed over.

In a few short moments we were en route to the drugstore. He bought me my medication, a book and a take-out dinner.  And, he apologized profusely for avoiding me because he was afraid of catching, my flu which made cry because I’d been feeling so abandoned.  Which leads me to the moral of my story – When the Goddess tells you to do something, no matter how strange it may seem… just do it!

A Witchy Cure for Common Cold: Oregano

Posted in Folk Medicine, Holistic Healing, How to with tags , , , on April 15, 2013 by Marie Bargas

oregano-herb

 

When I woke up this morning with a scratchy throat I felt I was doomed, completely doomed to suffer the same fate as my friend who caught a cold that turned into a cough that lasted for over a month. The stories of the cold, that turns into a cough and then sometimes into walking pneumonia are all over La La land.

 

Dried oregano for culinary use.

Dried oregano for culinary use. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rather than accept my fate I went straight to my magickal cupboard and found that pure oregano oil I got last Fall. In the past I’ve taken a drop or two of oregano in warm water or tea and it has helped me with colds and flu.  But, this time I was desperate for something with just a little more “oomph” and honestly too much oregano burns my stomach.

 

Thankfully, I remembered that some folks rub oregano oil in their kids feet because it absorbs through the soles and directly into the bloodstream.  I mixed 3 drops of pure oregano oil with some sesame oil that I had in kitchen and massaged it into the soles of my feet. I immediately felt a soothing warm tingle and then I slipped on some old socks and had myself a nice hot cup of tea.

 

Throughout the day I’ve been drinking oregano tea and reapplying the oil to my feet every 3-4 hours.  I have to admit it’s almost dinner time and I feel like myself again and I haven’t taken a single drop of cold medicine.  These are the times when I am soooooo glad that I’m a witch.