When one of my best girlfriends returned from out of state last week she was seriously on the rebound from an ex-model who broke her heart into a thousand little pieces. Poor thing. On the upside this gorgeous California blonde is a promising actress with a knock-out figure who is never short of male attention. When we went out to dinner last week she was excited to introduce me to her new male “assistant” and anxious to see if I agreed that he was “cute as a button.” I guess I would have thought he was cute, if he hadn’t smelled like he had crawled out of a beer barrel. This 21 year old kid professed to be a “scientist” without a college degree, but believe me he was no Albert Einstein. And he wasn’t even THAT cute. His eyes were too far apart and the suit he was so proud of looked like it originated at Mervyn’s before he picked it up at the local thrift shop. All I could do was remind myself that she had just had a break-up and in a few days she would come back to herself and realize that this kid may have been a fun accessory in the short term, but a glaring liability in the long term. I found out later that he attended a red carpet even with her and was falling down drunk. Yikes!
I have to admit that the one thing that really turned me off was that he openly refused to pay for anything at dinner. The silly boy made the announcement abruptly in front of a dinner party that included a reputable TV producer, two working actresses and Moi… the Hollywood Witch. I guess he thought that we would cover his bill because he was “special.” Needless to say, he failed Charm 101, but not before we caught him rifling through her purse to pay for another drink that he ordered after the bill was closed. That incident prompted me to text her to cancel her credit cards immediately and dump him because he was obviously a HIMBO. But, she didn’t know what that meant, so I have decided to clarify that term today, even though she fired the little Himbo yesterday and never looked back.
Him + Bimbo = Himbo
Get it? Back in the day I suppose that a typical gigolo could be defined as a “Himbo,” but after the O.J. Simpson trial one man has come to embody the stereotype so completely that it has been had to knock him off the Himbo throne. According to Wikipedia Brian Jerard “Kato” Kaelin (born March 9, 1959) is an American radio and television personality who gained fame as a witness during the 1994–95 murder trial of O. J. Simpson. Brian Jerard “Kato” Kaelin (born March 9, 1959) is an American radio and television personality who gained fame as a witness during the 1994–95 murder trial of O. J. Simpson.”